Nat, what are you doing?
by ym4yum1
Summary: Un-inspired by the upcoming movie Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015). Clint Barton confronts his best friend, Natasha Romanoff, about her actions towards Bruce Banner... and Steve Rogers. One-shot. My heart is and always will be, Romanogers.


**Disclaimers**: All rights to Marvel. Characters, lines and context from Marvel Movies, TV Shows, Cartoons &amp; Comics.

**Author's note**: I've been trying not to be affected by the movie spoilers, but it was inevitable. Besides, real life has been really tough. So, forgive me the rough draft, but this is me venting out… thinking about everything I saw and read… rambling. Of course I don't know for sure what's gonna happen in the movie, and I don't intend to. Anyway, it may contain SPOILERS.

Whatever would be going on between Natasha and Bruce, Clint would be the first to notice, and act, as her big-brother and best-friend. Don't get me wrong: I like Bruce, but as a faithful comic books reader, I can't forget his love story with Betty Ross, and I think he wouldn't forget her either.

I hope this is therapeutic for you to read as it was for me to write it. Please, tell me what you think. Please?

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"Nat, what are you doing?"

"What do you mean?"

"What do you want with Banner?"

"What kind of question is that? You know we've been working with the Hulk…"

"You're like… flirting with him."

"Clint, I'm not in the mood."

"What the hell is going on?"

Knowing that the archer wouldn't give up so easily, she tried, "It's nothing. I'm just trying to make him feel better, relaxed… to trust me."

"I know you. This is… different. What are you really up to?"

"That's none of your business."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"What's up with the interrogation?"

"Cause you're not sounding like yourself, you know?"

They stared at each other for a brief moment, before she turned around, and stopped by the window. "I'm tired. We all have a job to do."

"Are you still thinking about what that Wanda Maximoff girl put up in your head?"

Natasha looked down, speechless. After all the years being partners and friends, he knew her too well. The confrontation with the Scarlet Witch had shaken them all, to the core. The spy was no exception. The haunting memories of the Red Room had never been more vivid… or terrifying. She had been about 10-years-old when she had first took a life… another girl… one she had thought of as a friend. But their combat training had always been brutal. The choice had been to win… and kill… or die. And she had always won… to survive. After that day, she had learned she couldn't get close to anyone. She was a dangerous lethal weapon, not allowed to have feelings. Her reward couldn't be more… appropriate. After the painful process in which chemicals had been injected into her body, to improve her, make her heal faster, there were the cruel side effects… She couldn't have children… or a family. Back then, she already knew she didn't deserve any.

Clint stood by her side, saying softly, "You are… scared? Of what? I've never seen you like this." His worried words brought her back from the past, as he asked, "It can't be because of Ultron, right?"

Rolling her eyes, she sighed, "Don't be silly."

"So tell me."

"There's nothing to tell. I'm helping Bruce. That's all."

"Yeah, you did a great job, taming the beast."

"Don't call him that."

"Well, that's what you two look like, you know? Beauty and the Beast," he teased.

"What's wrong with that?"

"The Black Widow, a Disney princess? That will be a box office success!"

She couldn't help but smirk, "Jerk."

"Yeah, I know I am. But you love me anyway." They paused for a while, contemplating the view outside, when he insisted, "I can't help you if you hide from me."

"You're being ridiculous."

"Not the only one."

"I'm not hiding. I like to talk with Bruce, okay? He's smart, sensitive, we're kindred spirits."

"God, you sound so passionate."

"Damn it, Clint. What's your problem?"

"My problem is that I don't recognize this person who is supposed to be my best friend."

"Why? Am I not entitled to… to…"

"To what? A fairy tale? Do you realize how strange that sounds coming from you?"

"I'm human too, you know?"

"Yes you are. One of the most amazing women I know. But you're too special. Unique. You're not like this average boring girl you're pretending to be. It means something is really wrong."

"Bruce is a great guy," she spoke quietly.

"He's my friend too, don't forget. It doesn't mean you two make sense together."

"Why not?"

"Because he has been in love with that girlfriend of his since forever. Betty Ross, right? You even wrote a report about her after the incident at Culver University. Don't you remember?"

"Of course I do."

"So what the hell are you doing? And don't start with being complicated."

"You are right. I can't have a normal life like you. You need to understand. People like Bruce and me, we are…"

"Lonely, I get that. But what is it that you two are after? A coward contingency plan? Let's keep each other company in our miserable lives."

"You're mean."

"I won't lie to you."

"He needs me…"

"To keep in control, so we can use the gamma bomb whenever we need him. And you're the only one who seems to be able to do it. You really tamed him. That part I get. Teamwork. Friendship even," he shook his head, disappointed, "What I don't get is why you want to make more of this. Why you're always picking the most messed up guy around?"

"You have no idea how hard it is for him. Bruce hates to be the Hulk, he hates to be himself. He is suffering…"

"So you will settle and babysit the green monster?"

"He's not that."

"No, neither are you. And both of you deserve happiness."

"But none of us can have it, not the way you do."

"Because you're afraid of trying, of getting hurt. You always have been. So you're playing safe," his tone was completely serious, "It's very funny actually. The most dangerous man alive is the safest guy for you to be in a relationship with. He'll never challenge you, or hurt you, because he will never make you feel anything… for real. You will be always in control."

It hit her deeply. As usual, the archer would always hit the target, no matter how hard and difficult it seemed to be. After a long pause, she sighed, "Don't worry, he doesn't want me."

"He can't let anyone get close to him, don't you know that? He can't risk hurting anyone like he hurt Betty Ross. I think he loved her for real, but he's afraid too."

"Got it. See? Nothing to worry about. Let's get back to work."

"What are you gonna do?"

"What I have to. I'll stay with the team. Steve… Cap needs our help."

"So that will be your sacrifice play?"

"Well, since the happy ending isn't on my list, let's save the world."

"You know the Black Widow can fool anyone, right? Even me, I admit. But you can't fool yourself. You can't pretend you don't see what's in front of you."

"See what, Clint?"

"You can't keep hiding your feelings, especially working side by side with him. I saw how happy you were last year. You both were, actually. And I swear, I even got jealous," he chuckled, "But it was good to see the real you. And you had him wrapped around your little finger."

Realization hit her, and she stuttered, "What?… I don't… What the hell are you talking about now?"

"You're avoiding the one man you are really scared of," coming closer, Clint patted her shoulder softly, "Because he's the one who can make you feel like a real woman. He did it already, didn't he? That's why you're so unbalanced."

"You know that if Laura caught you hitting on me, she will kill you…"

"This was never our story, no matter what people talk about, and she always knew it. You're my best friend, and that's what I'm trying to be here."

"Okay, got it, thanks…"

"Stop running away from Steve."

"I am not! I work with him, right? We all do."

"Don't play games with me. And don't even start with that bullshit of not being worthy of the super-soldier."

Natasha couldn't utter a word, and stood there looking at her astute friend.

"He told me about you playing matchmaker," he laughed, "That was low, but well played."

"I was trying to help the old-man!"

"Really? How did that work out? Did you find him one girl at least?"

"No… Well… He's not interested. He still dreams about that woman from his past. The vision he had… the illusion… he danced with her."

"Ah! That's it! You're jealous!"

"No, of course I'm not. It's just obvious…"

"Do you know what Tony complained about? That Steve doesn't have a dark side. Like us, he doesn't. But he has lots of unfinished business, promises he didn't fulfill, people he didn't save. That's what Wanda explored. Cap's guilt for everything he didn't do."

"He's still in love with Peggy Carter."

"I think he owed her a dance, and now it's over. So he must be ready to move forward. Be careful with the dates you keep trying to set up for him. He may accept one now."

"Why are you saying that?"

"Because he was worried about you, and was advising Bruce to take a chance. Don't you see? Steve wants you happy, no matter how much it costs him."

"He's not interested."

"You are!"

"I didn't say that."

"The thing about Steve is that he puts himself last. Always. He also thinks he missed his chance of a normal happy life. So he keeps the man hidden inside the hero. Focusing on the job."

"That's the mission."

"So you will stay by his side? Helping him to run the team."

"Yes."

Clint looked at his best friend pensively. It was sad to see her thinking so little of herself.

Natasha's most selfless act was to accept the call of duty, to be an Avenger. That meant she wasn't pursuing a private life, like taking that safe option with Bruce. But that wasn't her true personal loss. No. The real sacrifice she was making was to stay next to Steve, not letting him know her real feelings. So close… and yet so distant.

"Okay. Let me try one more time. Do you know what scares me to death? That anything can harm my family. And I don't need any vision to show me that," he said as his eyes became teary. "But I wouldn't change anything, because a life without them wouldn't be a life worth living."

"We'll fight to protect them."

"I know. But that's what I hope for you. That you find what's worth fighting for. Your path to happiness. That's all I ever wanted," he makes the arrow gesture, remembering the necklace he gave to her, a long time ago, and its meaningful symbol. "When it's for real, it's the most terrifying and amazing feeling in the world."

"You and Laura are lucky," Natasha complimented honestly.

Clint was sincere as well, "You and Steve are stubborn idiots."


End file.
